She was only 5years old at that time. Naughty, spontaneous, girly but tomboy, such as the sides of a coin. It was drizzling. With a thin voice, she was singing ” rain, rain, go away, come again another day. Little baby wants to draw, rain, rain, go away”. A paintbrush with multiple colours was playing with her hands, and her nose was covered with rainbow colours, which made her giggle and sing again and again. Upholding the painting, she said, “Look, maa, the colour of the heaven”

Throughout my pregnancy, I dreamt of Frida Kahlo, smiling with her Mexican glory. Her distinctive unibrow always reminds me of the Amazon, sometimes Valkyrie or Boudicca- heartless but handful conqueresses to revolt against the chaos of brutality. All the figures have been so much accumulated in my heart that, after her birth, with the fair skin but brown, thick hair, made me call her “Shanareyi Damini Sukannya” – meaning a glorified warrioress with a thunderbolt-firm person.

I asked her, ” My little Frida, who are the children of heaven”? She smiled and said, We all are. My little angel still believes that we are all the children of heaven. However, inside our deep down, we know the truth. No, we are not. Sins, greed, self-centred hearts, vindictive minds take us a far way from heaven as much as we become inhuman but human. The tranquillity and vividness of heaven remain still, but we have changed in this crowded world. What is the meaning of life? Why is life worthy, if we are so ungrateful and untrustworthy towards life?

I asked several times, if a child is welcomed in this world as an angel, then what makes the being so mundane afterwards, with ” I desperately need it”, ” I need more and more”? Here is the fundamental conflict of the soul and logic, needs and sacrifice, compromise and war. Power, superpower, extreme power, judgmental power- all about power and the cost of fortune divide us nakedly. In fact, we are all our own victims.

Colour of heaven still remains the same. We just change. Thus, the hellfire turns its colour vigorously and burns us here or hereafter…….